this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize