he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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