quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize