Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize