Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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