So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
