I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
