Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
