the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
