Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
