There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize