We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize