I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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