shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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