Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
