ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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