Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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