hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
