I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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