He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
