I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
