it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
