I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
