i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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