Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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