Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
