It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
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In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
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While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize