We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
