Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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