How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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