I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's shark week go big or go home
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
