i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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