White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
no you cant smoke seaweed
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
