I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize