dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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