He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize