I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
