Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
