as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
