Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
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last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
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Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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