I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize