If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
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