oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
