i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
