Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
