You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
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If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
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SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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