I'm really into asian looking animals
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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