so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
