If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
