I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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