mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.