Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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