he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
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No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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