I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
