you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
