i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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