u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
