Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
That accounts for only three of the penises
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
